The Transitions Which Bring Growth

I’m not going to pretend that the last 4 months have been anything but hard. My family and I just moved to the next county over from a city we’ve spent collectively over 28 years in. There were some circumstances in our former setup that made it inevitable that a transition would need to be made. Most transitions aren’t easy. But transitions are inevitable. We just simply can’t live without growing. That’s not living. That is slowly dying.

Transitions are a common occurrence happening all too often, especially now. But I think our culture doesn’t always know how to approach it. I think with the technological age we can become more insulated from the effects of transitions because the face to face time we had once been accustomed to has changed a lot since we mainly text or email people on a day to day basis. We can just pick up our lives and start again pretty quickly with the help of the internet and GPS we can discover a new town pretty quickly without having to ask anyone for help. Our immediate family or the friends we live with our the ones that know us best, but that’s not even a guarantee at times.

People move across the country for jobs all the time, people bring children into the world…people that didn’t exist before all the sudden appear! We live by growth and change. And if there is one thing I’ve been focusing on a lot these days it’s the days I get to savor my children’s innocence because let’s face it. They are just going to keep growing. Keep changing. This only seems sad when I don’t think about the good there is in embracing change in their lives…and ours. My husband and I are raising…adults. These future adults are in shrunken form but nonetheless they are pre-adults.

There are no words tp fully explain the loneliness and lost feeling we can have when we think about how little control we really have in the world, yet it seems like more and more causes of our anxiety and depression stem from a false sense of control and needing to keep up this life we want to appear to have.Sometimes we think we need to make a change when in reality we need to be thankful for what we have, where we are, and who we are sharing our life with.

Maybe we overcomplicate things. We almost fear change and growth if we can’t have some kind of guarantee that there will be something better, or just as good as a memorable past season of life on the other side of change. Or we fear it if we have to leave behind a season that gave us such significance and importance and so we fear being mediocre. But that’s when we idolize the familiar and certain stages. I think we crave the familiar because we all need to belong and have a place to call home. A place we always point towards and land on. We all know this is a very basic need. We also know that we are living breathing beings meant to move. To do. To grow.

There are so many ways to grow: we grow up, we grow to be things, we grow food, we grow tired, we grow hungry, we grow passion, we grow old. Does it help to deny where all those growths lead us? It leads us down the path that we are taking and some things we can help and other things on the path we can’t help but avoid or have to go through. It blows my mind all the times I’ve truly been happy and then the scary feelings of possession and loss fill my mind. “Will someone take this away from me? Will I find these sorts of moments again?” I think that those are normal thoughts. We don’t want our deepest moments of belonging to ever end. So I have a proposition to make. Could we look at transitions more like portals? Like passageways, secret or public passageways…whichever makes them embraceable rather than something to be feared?

So I have a proposition to make. Could we look at transitions more like portals? Like passageways, secret or public passageways…whichever makes them embraceable rather than something to be feared?

Easier said than done. I know. There isn’t much I know but that this is a roller coaster ride of a life. I know that I need to be thankful, but that doesn’t require control. I know that I need to focus on loving more and worrying less. That doesn’t require knowing ahead of time if and when someone will hurt me or break my heart and step on it. But I do know that thankfulness, love, and fearlessness make transitions and change more and more natural. It is easier when living to live in the moment while also appreciating the past and looking forward to the future we hope for when we do it from a place of thankfulness for what we have experienced; the good for the peace it gave us and the bad for the lessons learned.

Proverbs 13:12 says: “a hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life” This verse has always stuck out to me, and I never looked up the second half of the verse until now. What if we looked at life differently through the lens of God’s desires for our lives. Then we can know that we are trying the best we can for those people and gifts that have been entrusted to us. And soon, sooner than we think, we will have our hope constant and our heart will never be sick again.

In the last few months, I have had more of an awareness and experience with transitions. My family and I have moved, and I’ve seen the transitions happening as I’ve prayed for friends and family going through big life changes- both happy and tragic. I’ve figured out that I like comfortability too much. But what is so great about comfortability? Why do we make a god of it? I’m not comfortable when I put aside my own desires in that moment, but my life means more in those moments. I’m not comfortable when I step out on the ledge and do something that people say is too hard and “why bother?” But the world would never encounter the things that my creator has put inside of me if I don’t step off that ledge. I’m choosing to help the world grow by embracing transitions and change, and in turn, I feel the pleasure of God and THAT nourishes me. It nourishes me much more than predictability, control and comfortability ever could.

Who knows? Maybe I’ll look back on my life one day and realize that every transition I took on my long road was part of a great story that only my life could tell.

I’ll close with this. Please, I urge you, don’t let someone with a hope deferred heart determine how you grow.  Our parents, teachers and coaches did all they could to discipline and teach us the basics of life and helped us grow. There is a place for other people to bring water to help our tree grow. But you don’t need to listen to the voices of others in your life unless they help you grow to be a more loving, forgiving, truthful, and kinder version of yourself. No one else can live your journey but you.

Be you bravely. Embrace the transitions when needed, and grow. Grow as high as your limbs will go in wisdom and in courage and know that no one else can tell you who you have to become except the one who made you.

 

 

Why We Should Teach Children to Face their Fears

I don’t pretend to know everything about facing fear. I believe in how important it is to face reasonable fears and also to do things afraid when facing uncharted territory. If we dont try things afraid there is so much we will miss. 

There is a culture of caution and fear that can be related to terrorism and fear of being sued for hurting someone else, but what is this costing us? I think it will cost our kids more than us. 

When did it become more than just a careful elderly grandmother’s kind salutation to utter the phrases “be careful” and to think: “what if something happens to him/her?”  When did it become the norm? The norm to shelter kids too much because it inconvenieces us otherwise. They need this time to learn how to face the challenges life WILL throw their way. No one can escape this fact. No Lawyer can save us from pain and suffering even if he can help us sue someone who was negligent or had wronged us. Yes, the world is full of all kinds of evil, but must it paralyze us? Isolate us? Make us trust people less?

Recently we adopted a dog. Up until then our children have hated being around dogs because they were scared of being bit, having their toys stolen or not feeling safe. I can’t pinpoint a time when this fear began. We do have some strange dogs in the neighborhood, but they had never attacked them. Even though some people have found it laughable that we adopted a dog even though our kids were afraid of them, I forged ahead, having faith that they could overcome their fears. How empowering is that thought as a mother?For your child to know you believe in them, instead of just wanting to praise them and focus more on making them happy? And not only for them to know that you believe in them but also that you want to show them how they can face their fears. Life will have many opportunities to face awkward and hard situations head on, and what better time to do this than childhood. 

I dont believe we are here as parents to enable kids not to think for themselves, to problem solve things they CAN figure out, or to focus so much on their happiness and safety that they feel helpless and unable to notice other peoples needs and feelings outside of their own since we are focusing so much on their own.

Just in case you were wondering, the kids have almost 100 percent warmed up to the dog and although our dog is a 75 pound Great Pyrenees and they sometimes have a momentary lapse in memory of their newfound courage, we have seen so much progress. We told them they could take their time instead of making light of their fears. We gradually introduced the dog into their space and modeled for them that Dogs were nice. We told them how to touch her, and how she was partly here to protect us. I have seen the courage developing in my kids, and instead of prolonging the inevitable fear of dogs, I am instead working to reverse the fear. Its hard to face our fears sometimes because it means we have to change something we may have etched in our brains where we were not safe and had no escape from or control over. Those are hard thinngs to reverse. But even worse would be a child who never had much fear to overcome…a child that was so protected from the dangers of life that they didnt really experience the learning moments that taught them how to face the giants away from their parents’ protective wing. There is no perfect way to raise a healthy well-adjusted kid by controlling everything they do and placating their fears. Sometimes they need to just fall and learn that they are ok, know how to get up, and that you beleive they arent wimps by coming to their every rescue.Of course we should never have a kid do something that isnt age appropriate to handle, although when they show willingness (And they will) to grow and take responsibility, we should take that as a sign to start letting out the rope on their kite of life. To start letting them go a little bit at a time. Empower them to get closer and closer to being able to take care of themselves, in a very often unsafe or uncomfortable world. 

I love what I recently heard from Dr. Kevin Leman, when he said “An unhappy child is a healthy child”. If we shelter our kids from the hard or scary things, and dont teach them how to face them head on, they may seem happier in the short term now when they are young but in the longterm, we will have many years ahead to carry them through this illusion of automatic happiness while they live in our basements and wonder why life sucks so much.

God said in His word to train up a child in the way he should go. If we keep that in mind, it changes our perspective. If we realize that we are not sending our kids on a good path by catering to their every fear and whim, then it becomes more clear what type of people we truly want them to become. That is good motivation to help them because we realize then that their character is of utmost importance OVER their happiness. That is something they have to discover on their own, afterall. We are here to guide them , discipline them, and most of all, to love them.

What are some seemingly unsurmountable fears your child has? Did you know that it could be a reasonable enough fear to help them face? 

Its more about surviving and thriving in the journey and the race, not just obtaining the prize.

Love has many faces. I believe one of those faces of a parent is the face of reality and discipline. It is a very loving thing to help your child become a person of character and courage, and who can who can make a difference in the world on top of that. 

How Can We Find Joy in A Dark World?

There is so much to say about why bad things happen. Have you ever stopped and wondered if bad things happen because we are distracted by things that we want to give us an illusion of control? 

I think the illusion of control is real. I think that a basic human need along with with the obvious food, water and shelter is to belong or to feel safe and with purpose. When we dont feel like we belong, or that we are safe, our minds start finding a way to fill this need. We get desperate, we have a deep driving need to feel like we are making something of our lives, not just wasting space. We hear messages all around us that say if we could only find a way to end the ache inside by being impatient for things, or those in moral darkness feel the need to be taking it away from others in a twisted form of justice, and think that things will feel right again. We are then attempting to do what only God can really do. We get desperate when our sense of security is threatened. That brings out the worst in us. 

We are also in the most technological age of our time.  Back when the newspapers were the only form of information in the world, the world was probably a lot “worse” than it seemed. But everyone didnt know what was going on all over the world at any given moment, or if they did they knew a little after the fact.

 Do we seem to do things out of fear or faith? Joy or doubt? Love or apathy? How did we get to a point where we dont see the urgency to need each other, and especially that we need God every waking day? I heard a sweet elderly woman tell me something one day in a nursing home that has always stuck with me. It has to do with the order of things. J.O.Y. It stands for the priority in how we should live our lives. 

J-is for Jesus. Jesus first. Lets put Him first as the first and last part of our day and every possible moment in between.

O-Others. Lets think of others needs and desires, and how Jesus would want us to bless them.

Y-Yourself-Take care of yourself because God made you wonderfully and so you can have the energy and confidence to carry out His plans for our lives.

This all stands for Joy. It is freeing to put God and others in front of ourselves because we are then filled to the brim. Overflowing even.  If we are filled with His truth before anything else gets a chance to try and fill us, then it naturally leads us to think of others needs next, as we are extensions of Jesus on earth. Which makes the world a better place to be.

Makes sense right? That wise elderly woman knew what she was talking about.  The order makes all the sense in the world. And especially with all the busyness an materialism of the season this thought is very timely. The world needs Joy. Just as much as it ever has.  

We need to stand in the gap for Jesus in asking Him to reveal to us what He would have us to do in this world to further His cause of salvation, grace, forgiveness and peace. 

It doesnt take going overseas or even doing something official in ministry to count, it takes seeing the people and community around you He has put in your path and to be Jesus to them.

We are at the beginning of the season that everyone has mixed feelings about. Some are without hope, some are filled with more than enoiugh to spare. We have all been in both places, even if for some it was only a short time in their life. We have all tasted Joy. True joy that is deeper than happiness. We all long for the Joy that comes in living a life in Christ. Can we leave some room for Christ this season? Some room for Him to fill us with His light and truth like He first did all those years ago ? The light and truth that will guide us like a compass to discover the path He has for us to bring hope to the world. A hurting world who is longing for light and truth. He is JOY personified. And He lives within us.

Why We Never Seem to Have Enough

I just heard a sermon that shook me. It was about, in a nutshell, how our disease of “never having enough” is preventing us from obtaining the joy our hearts desire.

I think somehow, somewhere along the line we as Christians have adopted the mentality that if we just had more and more and focused our attention on making ourselves feel better or look better, than that would show the kind of faith we have, or prove the kind of discipline we have. Call it the prosperity gospel, or whatever you like, but I know God can’t be happy with it. It’s causing a spirit of pretense, judgement, shame, isolation, bitterness, deceit, and so much more in our churches and communities.

Imagine if every living creature behaved how we do in the Western culture, tearing things down, making their nests and dams bigger and bigger, hurting each other to protect themselves and to prove something. It would be an even wilder, crazier world. But the creatures of the earth depend on God and then to us and their instincts to know where their next meal comes from, depending on their purpose. We read about this below:

Matthew 10:29-31:

“Are not two sparrows sold for a cent? And yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows”.

God has given us everything we need to survive and THRIVE. He never promised us an easy life but He did promise He would provide. He did not create us to be victimized by the pain we carry in our bitter ungrateful hearts, He created us to be used to display His glory and to feel His pleasure. It is not even that a long life is a better life, for He knows the exact length of time we will live in this temporary world. I think it’s a wonderful life when it’s a life lived with His glory displayed in us.
He is a just AND loving Father. He knows our needs. I think we mistake our longing for Him as a longing for more things that aren’t Him and not realizing that in this action we are choosing to ignore what He has so lovingly given us.

In HIS presence we ARE enough, in His provision we HAVE enough, in His plan we have BEEN where He wants us and where we will be is good enough because He is enough to be everything we need WHEREVER we are and WHOMEVER we are with.

He is enough. This world is temporary. Can we thank Him for giving us enough? Maybe then we won’t miss the opportunities to live out of His ENOUGH in our lives so that it can overflow into everything we do, say and act as we then pour the more than enough He gives into the cups of others trying to discover this very truth.

My cup is running over. He is the living water. He and only He is enough.

My Apologies to the Moms I Didn’t Help

    

 

  

There is something to be said about the connection of fear and failure. They say it can make or break you, and we all know we hope it will make us since we have to go through it to reach success. What exactly am I speaking of? That would be the failure of assuming someone doesn’t need help out of the fear of offending them. 

Today I had a humbling moment. As I was standing in line at an outdoor ice cream/burger shop, one toddler in a carrier and the other by my side, I was growing impatient. Suddenly I found my self being slightly critical of everything around me because I was running out of energy and it was taking awhile to order.  I felt that the mom in front of me was taking too long, or the other moms’ kids seemed a little stuck up, whichever made me have something to blame my growing regret for picking this dining establishment. 

Finally we get to order, and I have this fear as I reach in my back pocket of the diaper bag that I left behind my wallet in the car. Turns out I was just a little nervous and I was putting my hand in the wrong pocket. So after I order we sit down at a table and a nice middle-aged woman invites us to sit with them at their table. I gladly accept and the kids and I sit down next to one of the moms I was impatiently waiting behind in line. They all turn out to be so nice as they offer to watch one of my kids when I went to pick up our food and I am pleasantly surprised and so thankful that they invited us over. Then as we are leaving, I am having a hard time getting the kids to the car because my older toddler is having a moment where she is running in the rain, and my younger toddler is wiggling in the baby carrier. Then another mom says “do you need some help? I’ve been there ” and throws away my trash and I am very grateful. Then I start walking to the car with the both of them, and as I am waiting for my toddler to follow me I turn my head for one second as she tripped on the curb and she started crying hysterically. As if they knew me for years these two moms come out of the woodwork and helped me both pick up my daughter from the ground and pick up her cup and the other mom carries her to the car for me in the rain and helps me get them in the car. Once again I hear a mom say “we’ve been there, we understand “. All I could think of was how humbled I felt that I was given a whole lot of grace even though my heart was closed from vulnerability to the goodness of people. And this was due to my fear of failure. Fear of not being strong enough, or clever enough to anticipate challenges coming my way. 

I love the irony of life sometimes. Times we think we have things figured out-but God has different plans. He has plans to mold and humble us in His grace and mercy. 

Today I also realize something on a very basic, humanistic level. Moms are meant to be a part of an army of sorts. We are supposed to band together. We all have the same mission to guide young human souls in their most dependent state. And there is something very unifying about that. So unifying that it would motivate a complete stranger to rush to the aid of another stranger all in the common understanding of all the highs and lows of being a mom and how knowing that you’re not alone in the process helps you get through moments when you don’t know what to do. 

I felt like those moms today put me in my place in a good way. They really represented what moms should be to each other. That we should know we’re all in this together. Whether someone may “deserve” or not. 

We need each other. If only our pride could learn this lesson more often. 

So, to the moms I didn’t help in the past when you were struggling and feeling at the end of your strength, I am deeply sorry. I was more concerned about hurting your pride and feeling inadequate then I was about helping your heart feel encouraged and reminding you that you are never truly alone in this journey. 

We are supermoms. We are warriors. We are an army. 

  
*Photo selfie taken at the place this article took place at. Before the hot mess moment!

Why People Cannot Validate Us

    
We are creatures who crave approval and acceptance. We need to know that we are seen, appreciated and belong. 

I keep thinking about the concept of validation. It is another word for confirmation, or approval. We tend to confirm or validate what we can see, and what we cannot see, or what has yet to be tends to be forgotten in the fast paced world of our times. 

Until we had mirros we didn’t know what we looked like. We only knew what others looked like, and relied on them to tell us. Why is it that even now, when we can take endless selfies, and acquire endless bits of knowledge that we have the hardest time seeing ourselves clearly. The way our creator sees us. He sees us for who we were, who we are presently, and who we will be. He is the same yesterday,today, and forever. 

Here’s the thing- People can never give us the validation we desire. They only see bits and pieces of us. Some people only see our smiling face on facebook. Why do we crave the fleeting approval of others when they only see a sliver of the truth of who we really are?

It’s a heart issue. We want to feel the approval instantly. But then we may fear we can lose it if we mess up, when we should be counting on the forgiveness of God to dispel that fear. 

 It’s a trusting God issue. We may not think if we let Him into our deepest doubtful thoughts that He will continue to validate us. 

But here’s the thing- He will. 

I think a lot of the journey for us all is realizing that we are validated because we are. Because our slate of brokenness, faults and failures has been wiped clean. He wants us to live in that grace and extend it to others. 

We need to know in our hearts that although the heart can harbor all kinds of wickedness, God still sees us as blameless, loved, that we belong and are worthy of love. 

We need to remember that even though we want to compare ourselves through social media or in social situations, we all have secrets we keep from everyone and even God.  We don’t realize what is going on in their lives. We each face battles inside of pride and sadness and many other struggles and unfinished business. Each of our lives were made for a specific design. A specific purpose. 

Why do we think someone else built for a similar purpose, who didn’t design us can give us the purpose our creator designed us for?

How the Instant Gratification Culture is Affecting Us

As of late, I often find myself tapping away at my phone checking social media at random times of the day. Its not something I’m particularly proud of but have been realizing that maybe its stealing part of my life that I can never get back. Now, I realize the irony since I’m writing this post, and as an aspiring writer it involves some time commitment on social media and reading books and articles,etc. But what if I didn’t even have that excuse? Because it still is an excuse not to be aware of what these distractions are preventing me from experiencing in my life.

It has been common knowledge in generations past that in order to really achieve something, it takes patience and hard work. In the current generation, it seems as though they have been taught and future ones at this rate will be taught, that you have to sacrifice the virtuous things for the “right things”. What are these virtuous things? I’m talking about humility and, patience to start. And the “right” things are amazing lifestyles, the respect and admiration of people, and self-made security.

We are less humble, even as Christians, when we let our culture dictate our motivations. We have been created anew, and being anew means not just seeming different than were before, but actually transforming. This is what I am craving.

And it is SO. HARD.

How can we just transform? I know the easy answer is not always the easily swallowed answer. I believe it is this. We need to know God more. It may sound overly simple, but its true. Seriously how many days out of the year do we take this seriously? This past weekend was a lovely time of gathering with family, possibly going to a church service, and eating good food. There is nothing wrong with that of course! I just think it fades all to fast because SO many other things DISTRACT US. Our brains are constantly barraged by the “You’re not good enough yet” messages and when you hear that enough times you need a quick relief of stress. Cue in all the issues our culture deals with. Here are some common examples: Overeating, pornography, multiple sexual partners, overspending, overworking, escaping in any way that distances you from your hearts voice. The voice trying to tell you that there is more. That you need to be TRULY heard by someone who can fix what ails you. We try to find anything to fill that quicksand hole that God wants to fill and board up through trusting Him instead. This world is simply not enough to stop the quicksand in our hearts! The voice of the heart is being silenced by the constant pressure of being good enough. And then we can’t hear Him like we could otherwise.

Patience is a virtue. That’s what your grandmother told you but how is that going to help right now?I think instead of wanting an instant answer and gratification we should strive more to see the values of patience. It is the first attribute given to love, after all. Which naturally means that in the verse “Love is patient…” its referring to God. Since He is patient with us, wouldn’t he also then give us the ability to be patient too? I’m not talking about laziness or not being assertive about being successful in life, I’m talking about the security that comes in knowing you don’t have to know as much as humanly possible, as fast as possible, and know all about as many people as possible and how you fit into it all. I think we need to realize the power there is in temporal thinking, instead of instant gratification thinking. The comparison is two thought processes: “This too shall pass, I will hold on through the storm and embrace the best moments” vs. “When can this part of my life be over so I can get to the good stuff, and wow the good stuff ended too quickly so I hope I treasured it enough”. One has a realistic and hopeful view of the passing of time, and the other can’t live in the present but instead is afraid of regretting the past that wasn’t good enough, or striving for a future that is bigger and better as soon as possible. I also believe temporal thinking is a wonderful way to get through anxiety, because when we fixate our minds on something we can’t fix, we get nowhere, but when we realize it won’t last forever, it becomes more bearable and aids in the clearing of our minds.

All this to say, I believe a lot of times we are not as close to God as we could be because we can’t look for Him and notice Him in places we don’t invite Him into. It doesn’t mean He’s not there. We are not as close as we could be because we aren’t asking Him into every part. We need to know Him to WANT that. To want to share every part of our lives. So what do we have to lose in believing that He is who He says He is? If you can’t trust Him, you won’t want to know Him more. And believe me, there are so many messed up things in the world that go on that it can be hard to trust Him. But we trust other things that are much more flawed than Him every day and they don’t have an eternal stake on our souls or the guarantee that they will never leave us or forsake us like He does. Even if bad things happen to us or those we love it doesn’t mean He’s no longer trustworthy, it just means in a world of broken beautiful people there will be brokenness. But that doesn’t mean He isn’t who He says He is. It means we are who He says we are by nature, we live in a world that is temporary. His world is forever. Here are some things that we let consume us and cannot give us security that He can only fulfill:

Money-You can’t take it with you.

Matthew 6:21- For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Phillippians 4:19- And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

Careers– God can use for good but can’t be all or the number one security we have.

James 4:13-17- Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.

Relationships-Necessary and wonderful but not designed to fill you with joy before God does.

Psalm 147:3, ESV He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Psalm 73:26, ESV My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Material Possessions– Meant to be used, not worshiped.

Luke 12:15- And he said to them, “Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.”

1 John 2:16 ESV- For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world.

Physical Beauty/Attractiveness– Although a reflection of God’s creativity, it won’t last, and doesn’t make anyone more or less valuable.

1 Timothy 4:8 ESV – For while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.

1 Peter 3:4 ESV But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.

Our spirit inside of us craves an answer to why we are here. It doesn’t want to be dulled down by the dust of cheap substitutes. We are created to trust the One that has created us. The One who has created us to allow Him to polish us and shine, like a diamond. Not to be covered in the shabby substitutes of dusty instant stress relievers. Our culture makes it hard to see the difference. But God can be trusted. He can be known.

Isn’t that wonderful?!

Why We Shouldn’t Stop at “Why?”



There is a pattern I notice emerging in our culture. Our brains are getting lazier as a wealth of information is at our fingertips. Google has changed the world, but spiritually speaking, this technology can only aid in our thirst for knowledge to a degree. 

What happened to good ol’ fashioned hunger for the very words of God? And even more, the hunger to open up that conversation thread with God through prayer? Prayer is a two way street just like any conversation we have. Even if the real, in depth conversations we crave with other people are fewer and far between.  

The question of why is the undercurrent question of our life’s journey, and consequently our faith journey. But why is why so important? Because it unlocks relationship, and longing. It takes things to the next level. It’s how a kid becomes an adult mentally, through curiosity. Even if a child may not get the answer they are hoping for, their instinct is to ask why. I also think as we get older, more educated, more habitual, more bitter, more set in our ways, we tend to stop asking why as much when the questions get bigger. They turn into: why does that kid have cancer? Why doesn’t he love me anymore? Why don’t people get along? All these questions seem to address a chasm inside that I believe only God can truly fill. He is the answer to the whys we ask, and soon enough all will be revealed, but before all is revealed He doesn’t just leave us with “ask me later”. His word is a “lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path”. (Psalm 119:105) I believe we can be walking around in darkness of our own doing when we underestimate His ability to answer the whys we ask on this side of heaven as well through the examples in His word. I think if we dare to ask God “why?”He will gladly desire to reveal Himself with an answer in His word. But here’s the thing, we have to TRUST Him first. Not come to His word with a hidden skepticism, or a feeling of mental laziness not to dig deep. 

We don’t trust if we don’t believe. If we believe there is a solution to a problem, it’s not good enough to say that since we don’t know how to figure it out we are off the hook. We make it too hard on ourselves when we let our lack of knowledge of Gods word become the very knowledge void that CAN be filled by Him in order to restore a strong connection with Him. We trust Him the more we know Him!

God did not send us His Son Jesus, God in the flesh, to condemn the world but to save the world (John 3:17). That also goes for us condemning ourselves when we dare NOT to ask Him why…as if we don’t trust Him, as if we don’t believe what He says is true and just give Him lip service since we mistakenly think we can figure it out on our own. This independent spirit is then downplaying His voice to be just another voice in the mix of influences in our minds guiding our decisions, self worth, and ultimately how we love people and how we love Him. He wants us to discover what brings Him pleasure in our daily lives. He does that with His voice in our mind, heart and soul. 

Why don’t we try to ask Him, “why?” and expect an answer more often? We must believe Him that He has one. We must then realize that believing is trusting, and trusting God sustains our faith at the most foundational levels. 

I recently came to these thoughts when reading His word and it smacked me across the face like a bird on a windshield. But I first had to get in the car and keep driving until I found what He wanted me to seek. Until I realized that I had some “why questions” that I didn’t wait to hear an answer for, so I just kept going with the questions still up in the air while all the while needing to realize that He just wants me to truly trust Him more.

Simply revolutionary, yet so hard to do when I underestimate what His word truly means and is. Not just merely a voice among many other voices in the world, but THE voice. The one to be trusted. The one that dares me to ask Him endlessly, “Why?”  And He never tires to walk alongside with the answers on the journey. We just need to remember how free we are to ask The One who has the answers. Just because He doesn’t answer as fast as a search engine doesn’t mean He won’t answer. The knowing is in the searching. The diving into Him with abandon. The drenching our hearts with a truth bath of His word, His mind, His plan for us being here. With our whole hearts trusting and believing that we have nothing to lose and everything to gain in knowing Him as deeply as we dare to let our hearts go. 

So, if we were at a table together, with the finest of wines in our hands, this is the part when I would say, “Here’s to asking why”. 

Music and the Voice of the Heart

From as far back as I can remember I’ve known the power of music. It is now more accessible than ever before. I grew up around music, in church, in school, at home, at friends houses, you name it, and music was a part of it and my memories. I can remember dancing in the living room as a young girl, singing on the piano bench as my father played our piano in the living room, the spring choral programs at school, and each sunday morning people gathered to sing the same songs in unison and harmony, all with common purpose. Music freezes time in the moments we are caught up in its rapture. It is the undercurrent of the life in culture. 

Tonight I saw a documentary about the profound influence music has made to humanity through an organization called Music & Memory. It is called “Alive Inside”. This sector of humanity is the ever rising population of the elderly and housebound disabled population. They are largely forgotten in a culture that has industrialized their way of living so much that they have largely forgotten those that have built the country in which they now live. It has, for the most part, forgotten their value, the need they have for respect and honor, and the enrichment society could receive by their company. We must change the cultural norm. And we can do this with music.

Over the years I have had the privilege and honor of working alongside the elderly in various roles, one being to use my singing voice to help elderly people reminisce about days gone by. One thing I noticed is that no matter how boring their day was, music turned it around. We need food to survive, but I believe we need art to thrive. The art of music is so powerful that it speaks to the feelings or emotions we live our lives with through the vehicle of our heart and it helps to store the memories in our brain that happen while hearing the music.

Music gives an outlet to the voice of our hearts. Whether we hear it or create it. 

What does your the voice of your heart have to say? Even if you can’t put words to the feelings inside of it, I’m sure your favorite music can and does. This music you hold so dear will in turn, one day, become the soundtrack to your life; the tracks that contain keys to unlock the memories of your life. 

Anyone who is able to read and understand this article has a gift. A gift of recollection and ability to comprehend things cognitively. We have no guarantees if this will last forever, but one of the last thing that will go is the part of our brains that stores music and the memories that it conjures. 

I would see it as an honor to help elders and others with cognitive impairments through the information in this article.There are friends waiting to be met at a Nursing Home in your very town. Please check out this website below to see what you can do to donate an old ipod or MP3 player, raise awareness for the organization Music and Memory, and possibly even get some friends and or family together to visit someone with the gift of music and see how they come alive again. 

You just may make a new friend, and watch a miracle unfold. Maybe even make a memory to store away in your mind, and the voice of your heart may even be touched by another who hasn’t heard the voice in theirs for far too long.

Check out Music and Memory for more information on how to help seniors find their memories again. 



Book Review For “Learning” by Karen Kingsbury

https://www.facebook.com/notes/karen-kingsbury/learning-reviewed-by-team-kk-no-14/10150214002582219?comment_id=17157410&offset=0&total_comments=25 

LEARNING – REVIEWED By TEAM KK – No. 14

June 20, 2011 at 1:08pm

LEARNING – In Stores June 21Hi Friends!! Here’s the No. 14 Review of LEARNING by TEAM KK!!

 

As you know, I asked if you’d like to read and review an ADVANCED copy of LEARNING, and thousands of you said yes! You’re all on TEAM KK in my heart … but I chose 75 of you to review LEARNING before it releases, JUNE 21 🙂

 

Now I’m choosing fifteen of their reviews and posting them here – one per day through JUNE 21 – so you can get excited with me about LEARNING 🙂 

 

LEARNING –  Drew Me Closer to God 

By: Shawna Brinsfield

 

LEARNING will touch your heart, no matter where you are in your stage in life. This story had elements in it that could relate to anyone right where they are in their life. It guides the reader in how to have faith in their own similar circumstances by watching the characters and seeing how their experiences effect their own faiths and what happens when they look to God for how things turn out in their lives. God has always shown his faithfulness in Bailey’s life and it continues on in this next book in the Bailey Flanigan series.

 

I thoroughly enjoyed the process of events in LEARNING. These are things the story taught me: about the highs and lows of life and how God is with us through them all. I learned about the importance of being mentored by someone in love with God…the wisdom of a faith journey is a blessing along the way. I learned about God and His undying, never-ending, limitless, beautiful love for us. I learned about where I want my relationship with God to be; the characters inspired me, and their depth made me think of ways I think one can grow in their faith and boldness in belonging to Christ. 

 

We are all so very unique…yet also very much the same inside. I’ve heard once that C.S. Lewis said “We read to know that we are not alone”. When I read this book I felt the opposite of alone. I felt surrounded by the love of God because I realized that any of these experiences a character could be faced with, joyous or challenging, could be you or I. And that in every circumstance, God reigns. Fears can prevent a person from claiming the blessings God has for us, sometimes we just have to let go of control. That is how we learn, when we yield to Him and His ways, or reflect on how our ways didn’t bring Him glory like His way would have brought the highest Glory. These are some thoughts I took away from this book. 

 

This story drew me to feel closer to God, it made me feel satisfied in Him, and made me feel a craving for a deeper relationship with Him. 

 

I enjoyed this book immensely, as I do all of Karen’s books. I enjoy knowing how much God loves and cares for us, and this book will give you insights into His heart through the characters and their choices, experiences and responses in faith or fear. But overall, it’s their faith that inspires the reader to see How God provides for His followers and how He longingly draws people to Himself that have not yet known Him. The characters have a light inside of them that cannot be hidden. Like the city on a hill that cannot be hidden, as we read about in Matthew 5:14. 

 

I am beyond excited for the rest of the story because it is so exciting to see where God takes His people on their journeys of life and faith in Him. I’m excited to see where Cody, Brandon, Bailey, and the other character’s journeys take them, and what God teaches them on the way. 

 

I highly encourage you to take in this book, and let it’s lessons of faith, wisdom, and love come into your heart and mind. 

Like · Comment · Share

• Emily Kendrick, Lisa Lovell Cromwell, Melanie Aradhika Banwart and 36 others like this.
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  Katie Hart Yay!

  June 20, 2011 at 1:27pm

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  Amanda Harkness I love the idea that we are surrounded by God’s love as we read the story. Even when I can’t relate to the exact circumstances I always find I can learn something from the characters in KK’s books. They always leave me craving a deeper relationship with God and I find I challenge myself to grow because of them.

  June 20, 2011 at 1:35pm · 3

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  Carla Beck The joy of reading is so much more than the words on the page–it is the emotions that jump from the page into your heart. I love how Karen’s books stretch the boundaries of my heart.

  June 20, 2011 at 1:39pm · 1

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  Judy Barker Scott Wow, great reveiw Shawna, I am excited to see what God has in store through this book and the lives of Bailey, Cody and Brandon. If I hadn’t already ordered this book; your review would have convinced me, but I had it ordered when I got Leaving 

  June 20, 2011 at 1:41pm · 2

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  Jessica M Ealy Good job Shawna 

  June 20, 2011 at 1:55pm

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  Debbie Shawver Great review Shawna! Can’t wait to read Learning tomorrow!

  June 20, 2011 at 2:31pm · 1

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  Laurie Ann Beautiful review Shawna. 

  June 20, 2011 at 2:41pm

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  Sharon Dean Simply Beautiful Shawna! I’m so ready for the tissues now!!

  June 20, 2011 at 2:43pm · 1

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  Kathy Moore Bement Great review Shawna! I am so excited for everyone to read this book. They will see how God works through every circumstance even when we don’t respond the way God would hope that we would or even when we are prompted by God to do something and we don…See More

  June 20, 2011 at 2:57pm · 2

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  Danelle Landry Townsend Love this review and the quote from CS Lewis. So true. Tomorrow!!! Hooray!

  June 20, 2011 at 3:08pm

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  Hope Painter great review!

  June 20, 2011 at 3:18pm

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  Bonita Allen Easter I loved your review. I am continually amazed at how God uses the characters in Karen’s books to show us his love, grace, mercy, peace, blessings, need for Him, etc. You actually feel God speaking to you the same as He speaks to the characters in Learning even though your circumstances are different. God is the only one who can put this together for us and it is so wonderful that Karen is used by Him in such a profound way.

  June 20, 2011 at 3:39pm · 2

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  Shirley Sheaffer Nace Great review Shawna! Hard to believe tomorrow is the BIG DAY for the release of LEARNING!! You will not be disappointed when you finally get that book in your hand!! Enjoy!

  June 20, 2011 at 3:48pm · 3

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  Beverly Knudsen Wonderful review! I am so glad Karen had the idea to have people do reviews and even more anticipating LEARNING!!!!!

  June 20, 2011 at 5:26pm · 2

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  Lisa Young Schoonover WOW! Awesome review Shawna! How many of you are either going to call in tomorrow, be late to your job, or run out at lunch to get LEARNING? I would if I didn’t already read it . Everything Shawna said is 100% spot on!!!

  June 20, 2011 at 5:38pm · 2

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  Susan Watson Keene It has been so great building up the excitement of this next book with many wonderful reviews such as this one and all prior to its release. I already love all of Karen’s books but this makes it even more exciting as I read everyone’s review. I can’t w…See More

  June 20, 2011 at 7:43pm

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  Michelle Moorhead Diercks Great Review!

  June 20, 2011 at 8:15pm

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  Becky Benoit Statesel Great review. I’m excited that tomorrow is the big day!!!

  June 20, 2011 at 8:58pm · 1

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  Kristine Whinery Great review!!! It’s now midnight in Indiana and LEARNING is out TODAY!

  June 20, 2011 at 9:01pm · 1

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  Jolene Buchheit I like how you mention the importance of being mentored by someone in LOVE with God. That is so true and I am so glad Bailey has always had that! Nice review!!

  June 20, 2011 at 10:15pm · 1

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  Shawna Brinsfield PRAISE GOD!!! He is so good to us, isn’t He? He hears every prayer of our hearts, and knows every yearning in it. I know you will feel this as you read the book, and more to come…its His presence in the characters lives that touches us, thank you Karen for using your gift to remind us of that. Enjoy “Learning” everybody!:)

  June 20, 2011 at 10:50pm · 1

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  Micaela Vedder Great Review!!!!

  June 20, 2011 at 10:53pm

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  Terri Harr Great review! I loved it!

  June 20, 2011 at 10:55pm

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  Monica Horn And the excellent reviews just keep on coming!

  June 21, 2011 at 2:48pm

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  Lindsey Bacon LOVE this review!!! It’s AMAZING & WONDERFUL what God can do in a person’s life! 

  June 22, 2011 at 8:36pm

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  Amber Hillman “We read to know that we are not alone”. Oh wow, I love that and how true that is with any and all of Karen’s books. You just feel like you are a part of the story period and that’s what I love about her writing. What a great review.

  June 28, 2011 at 5:17am

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